If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
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