How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
