i'm lost and i look like a hooker
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
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He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
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I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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