I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
well I can't set my house on fire every night
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
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If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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