How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
you never un-have a 4some
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
