Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
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