Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
