i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
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