Soap is not a condiment
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
