everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
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