I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Randomize