Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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