I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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