Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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