K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
When did angry sex become our thing?
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize