last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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