Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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