something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
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