I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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