he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Do you remember whose house we're in?
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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