talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
