I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
