He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
