I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
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