Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
