was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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