Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Randomize
