you guys were way drunker than both of me
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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