i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Randomize
