just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
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