11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
