We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
