He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
