i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
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