U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
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