It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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