Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
