dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Randomize
