Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Randomize
