Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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