so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
