so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Randomize
