I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
im holly from the hills drunk
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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