if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
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