He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
