i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Randomize
