Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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