You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
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