I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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