I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
