Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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