You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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