If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
