i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
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I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
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He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
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