In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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